I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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