I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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