her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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