my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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