Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
the raccoons are back...
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