Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
