I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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