my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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