so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it hurts more in the daytime
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
