All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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