we're blogging at a bar
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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