Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
