he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
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a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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