Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
