My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
