i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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