If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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