I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize