just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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