Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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