I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
