True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
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dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
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So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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