Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
NoShamevember. You game?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
