I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
