i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
