Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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