I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and she was petting her beer can
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
