we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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