What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
