i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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