have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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