I'm really into asian looking animals
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My feet surprised me
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