Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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