She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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