If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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