it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I don't think brook has ever known best
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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