And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize