I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
