Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
