In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just googled if crying burns calories
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize