eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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