i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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