She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
