do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i love accidental penises.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
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I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
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Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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