need another drink. this is the easiest way
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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