Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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