we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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