dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
