We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
