For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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