I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
