Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
