We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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