I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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