ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
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