Just cropdusted the office
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
